Back in Action

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It’s no news to y’all that SMC has been pretty bare all summer, and I’m so excited to announce that I’m officially back to blogging for good! But, I also feel the need to share with y’all a little bit of the story behind my break.

I started my blog a year and a half ago because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in the “house wife life.” As much as I love my man, I felt that I was meant to do more and be more. In the time since I started blogging, I’ve gotten married to my husband, moved to a new house (and just found out we’re having to move again #rentallife), been given lots of opportunities in the fashion industry- including becoming the Charleston editor of Carolina STYLE Magazine, had my husband’s daughter and her 2 children move in with us, travelled to 6 different states & 8 countries, and went through a total hair makeover (enter the year of the ombré LOB). Sounds like a pretty great year and a half- am I right?! Or at least it should have been! But, instead of being able to fully enjoy all of the amazing things taking place in my life, I was constantly battling my own self and the strive for perfection.

Perfectionism is something that was instilled in me from a very young age. My mother didn’t mean any harm and always only wanted the best for me, but she also expected me to behave a certain way. Being the little people pleaser I was/am, I attempted to always exceed expectations. As I got older, these behavioral expectations from my mother evolved into me placing a high standard for myself in anything and everything I was doing. Then, in comes the teenage years and I was hit with the dreaded INSECURITIES that all of us women go through. Seriously though, are those not the worst?! I rebelled from my perfectionist ways and decided to give the opposite a try- doing everything I knew wasn’t right. This didn’t work either and just gave me more to beat myself up about later on in life. As if I needed anymore of that!! So finally, here I was in what seemed to be the perfect life, but something still wasn’t right. In fact, I could hear that inner battle even stronger than before. It goes a little something like this- “you aren’t good enough,” “you don’t deserve this,” “you aren’t pretty enough,” “you aren’t skinny enough,” “you just aren’t PERFECT enough”… sound familiar?!

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As women especially, we torture ourselves to try to meet these insane standards that society {and ourselves} has brainwashed us with. Whether it’s about your looks, career goals, being a great mom- we strive for this perfection that will never be attained. Because the reality is nobody is perfect- not me, not you, not Kendall Jenner & GiGi Hadid- nobody! We all have flaws and that is what makes us the special people that we are. I know we grow up hearing cliché phrases like this all of our lives, but it’s taken me a really long road to be able to say the words and truly mean them. In this war against myself, I’ve thrown away countless opportunities, strained relationships, wounded friendships and really just beat myself down. There were days this summer that I didn’t even want to get out of bed, and I didn’t. It was a really low time for me, but I feel like I had to get down to the darkest place to be able to make sense of all of this for my future.

This isn’t something that is easy for me to share (because ghasp! no perfectionist wants other people to know they’re not perfect!) and even writing this now I’m toying with the idea of just publishing an outfit post and pretending that my hiatus never happened. But, not only is this essential for me to move forward, but I felt the urge to share my experience with y’all. I have yet to perfect this whole “not being a perfectionist” thing, and I’m not here to give out advice on how to change your mindset, because I feel that’s going to be a different path for everyone. What I am here to do is let you know that you aren’t alone in these feelings. I know this is something that almost every single female goes through, whether it’s at 12 or 25 or 65, we all doubt ourselves and get down on ourselves at some point in life. And if me sharing my story helps to make even one person feel better and to know that they aren’t alone in their insecurities, then this post will be totally worth it. I know that as fashion bloggers we are constantly giving y’all the best version of ourselves, but the reality is we’re insanely flawed too! I don’t ever want anyone to look at my blog and get down on themselves or think that I am this perfect person. Southern Meets Chic is meant to inspire you to be YOU- whoever that may be!! This is a platform to empower women and for me to encourage you be the best version of yourself- flaws included!!

This summer has given me the necessary time to reflect and rejuvenate myself. I’m SO excited to be back to blogging and I’ve got so much fun stuff I’m excited to share with y’all! I know in the past SMC has been all about fashion, but I’m going to be bringing in more and more lifestyle posts as well. I would love to hear what kind of topics y’all are interested in!! Check back tomorrow morning for my first outfit post back- i’m kinda obsessed with the look! Also, be sure to follow me on social media [hit social above for links] as we head to SPAIN for my 25th birthday on Wednesday!! (insert 400 salsa betch emojis) Lastly, thank y’all for continuing to read, especially this rambling emotional post- although I wish these feelings on nobody, I do hope my words will help someone somewhere. XO

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Photos: Katie Capo of Catherine Ann Photography

 

7 comments

  1. Great post lady, for someone who struggles with something similar thanks for sharing. Look forward to the new posts!
    Best,
    Holly

  2. I am not normally one to comment on blogs, much less read though and entire post, but I think you are brave for sharing and this one hits home for me. Your story shares similarities with my life. I’ve got a wonderful husband, dream home in Charleston, successful career, but I find my self comparing my life, body, and you name it, to other women. I don’t know what the answer is but I think being open and honest, as you have done, is a big step for all of us. I hope that we can all find way to contribute to self love and love for others as you have done today. Thank you for sharing I look forward to following along in your journey.

    – Chelsea

  3. I am not normally one to comment on blogs, much less read though and entire post, but I think you are brave for sharing and this one hits home for me. Your story shares similarities with my life. I’ve got a wonderful husband, dream home in Charleston, successful career, but I find my self comparing my life, body, and you name it, to other women. I don’t know what the answer is but I think being open and honest, as you have done, is a big step for all of us. I hope that we can all find way to contribute to self love and love for others as you have done today. Thank you for sharing I look forward to following along in your journey.

    – Chelsea

  4. You’re beautiful both inside and out. It took courage to post your feelings and why you were MIA! I missed your posts and look forward to reading more. Have a wonderful 25th birthday. Thank you for being so candid and helping us to feel better about ourselves in the process.

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